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07.19.2006 - Athena sucks. There is really no two ways about it. It has its charms, but in the grand cosmology of video games, if the best games were to orbit closest to the Sun, then Athena would reside in a dank, sealed tomb below the surface of a long-forgotten asteroid. It was released in 1986, which could reasonably be considered the "early days", when platformers were just hitting their heyday, but one of the brightest stars in the night sky, Super Mario Bros., had already been released. Now, no one at SNK had the skill to produce a respectable competitor to SMB, but SNK's other titles released the same year suggest that they could still produce something with entertainment value. If you say "Victory Road" in a room full of aging gamers, you may hear some snickers, but you won't hear the guffaws, chortling and hissing that would greet "Athena".
Until recently, I had only ever played the NES version of Athena. "This game is really shoddy," I would think to myself. "They should have worked a little harder on porting it from the arcade." Well, guess what? The NES version is a brilliant port that plays very close to the arcade version. In other words, like crap. However, the game somehow manages to hold my fascination. It may be because it falls into the same category of games as Blaster Master: games I couldn't finish. I am now older and better at games, so I decided to give it another shot. It was not pretty. The game is very hard, not in the Soul Reaver kind of way, but in the X-Box Ninja Gaiden kind of way. It's hard because there are so many things wrong with it… in fact, almost everything is wrong.
This is an examination of its issues. Not as education for game designers, but because it just begs to be catalogued.
Gradius Syndrome
Athena is all about power ups. To stand a chance, you need improved weapons and armor. If you happen to die (and you will), you lose everything and start your next life naked and weak. If you're anywhere past, oh, the first level, you probably just want to walk away at this point and avert your eyes from the ensuing senseless slaughter of your remaining lives. Mitigation: you can obtain a K-block, which let's you take it all with you to your next life. These are… rare.
Castlevania Syndrome
Not all items are good. In fact, as soon as you have a decent weapon, all lesser weapons now become yet another danger to avoid. The wrenching pain of the soul of one who having finally obtained the red sword, accidentally lands on a "magic stick." When you grab a new weapon, the old one is not dropped. It ceases to exist, so there is no recovery. Mitigation: none.
Not Up to the Task
Compared to her enemies, Athena moves like a cow. An enemy archer cane run up underneath her and rapidly climb a ladder, firing arrows all the while. He will hurt her if he just touches her. Flying horsemen, fish and flying snakes pass through solid walls. They home in on her location. Athena can attack slowly to the left or right. Mitigation: The best weapons and armor reduce threats significantly, assuming you can get (and keep) them.
Multiple Time Limits
Most arcade games have you dealing with a clock. You have 4 minutes to pass the level or something like that. Athena has this and more. If you linger too long clearing out surrounding blocks, which may contain useful or even critical goodies, a red, flying horseman with super-powered, flaming arrows will show up to slaughter you. Mitigation: Once you've sunk hours into the game and know where things are, this will no longer be an issue.
Unavoidable Deaths
You transition between the various branches of a level by descending into or jumping out of gaps in the floor and ceiling. But, sometimes these breaks aren't transitions… they are pits that kill you. Problem is, they don't look any different. There is also a feature by which you can complete a level without facing the boss, if you enter a warp zone while in possession of the required magic lamp. If you don't have the lamp and enter the warp zone anyway… you guessed it: dead. Mitigation: after a few painfully unfair deaths, you're likely to remember where these spots are.
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